I understand he's going through some tough times at present, but you need to get out of there if his behaviour is abusive. Frankly, it's time for an ultimatum from you - but only if you're prepared to walk away if he doesn't make some serious changes.
What on earth is a 45 yr old man doing in VS with an 18 and 16 yr old?! Gross! Has your fiance ever exhibited this kind of behaviour before? It seems to have come up now but surely there were perhaps subtle signs earlier?
I'm sure he is remorseful, but like any addiction, they are scared as to what they are giving up, their lack of control, the lies, etc. This is why he keeps doing it, he can't help himself....he needs help, and to find other ways to help him cope with stress.
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