You're speaking in absolutes. Replace "does cause pain" with "can cause pain". If you're talking about your experience on here I would think that's what you've seen; this is a site to discuss problems in relationships, not very often do people come here to talk about how much success they've had. But this is where I'll stop my argument since I'm not someone who wants to be in an open relationship, I'm merely claiming it's a less destructive alternative to cheating, beyond that it's mostly societal and cultural elements that cause it to not work.
I don't think he has bad intentions. I think he enjoys your company & values you as a friend / person.
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